Thursday, March 26, 2015

Even fat people can have those days...

I'm having a "fat day"... Scratch that, I'm having a "fat week". Not sure if it's "that time of the month" (since having an IUD, I've discovered it causes my body to just kinda shut off that business 90% of the time) or just lack of ability to be mobile the last few days (nasty wet weather and no space to exercise indoors), but I am having quite the adversity to anything but comfy pants.

Fortunately, my hubby has needed the car all week, so I have an excuse to be loungewear-attired: I'm not leaving the house! I actually did have a headache this morning, so when my mother called and asked if I'd like to go with her to town I played the sick card just to get out of having to put on "real clothes" for the day. It gained me a mom-visit (complete with lunch from the cafe) to make sure I was ok. Can't complain about being pampered by your mommy, even when you're 36!

I've been insanely busy the last while, all things leading to Easter and all - lots of last-minute work to finish up so everything goes smoothly. Sometimes I wonder why I work so hard as the music director for our church, but then a holiday comes and we get so many compliments on our hard work and I remember just how much joy I bring to other people through my talents and dedication. 3 years into my stint as head-music-guru at our beautiful country church, I'm finally hitting my stride. I no longer feel like it's pulling teeth to get my choir members to show up for rehearsals. I no longer feel like I need to "entertain" them, they're actually there to work - and are excited to tackle every challenge I set before them!!

I've begun writing and arranging again. Possibly considering using one of my original pieces on my choir this Christmas. Time will tell. Mom wants to use the piece I wrote as my final project for Theory class in college for one of her piano students (I happened upon it in a box of old textbooks while cleaning). I haven't had a creative spark like this, or genuine interest in my work in years. The scales are being removed from my eyes, put there by my creativity-suffocating ex as a means to control me and make me feel subservient. I'm terrified by all the thoughts and ideas and plans running through my unbridled mind. Overwhelmed. Yet so very very happy (to the point of tears as I write this). Hopefully my creativity will come back in other forms as well, as I used to take pleasure in many artistic ventures from photography to painting and drawing as well. We shall see.

Just some things I found in an old sketchbook while cleaning. Not sure when they were done, but I think a safe guess is 10-15 years ago...